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Processing Through Journaling
I just thought I’d share my journal from today. It was a little scattered but also pretty helpful. I’m learning more and more about myself. I realized yesterday that I have been battling the weight/body image/nutrition/exercise battle for a long time, and I have never sought God’s wisdom on it. WHY am I so obsessed with…
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Still Considering Autism…
I had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner today, and as much as I keep saying I DON’T have autism, we are both still thinking it’s possible. What’s hard is, as an almost 43 year old woman, I have learned to mask SO well, and I don’t even know what that looks like. I…
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Expectations and Peace
I have had a rough few days mentally and emotionally. I wrote this on Facebook yesterday: “I’ve been struggling again the last few days. Heavy depression. I had therapy and cried more than usual. I realized today that deep down I feel like I’m just a burden and not an asset to anyone. Like my…
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Identity and Calling
As I sit here in my office, I can hear the beautiful sounds from nature-the frogs in the pond and the birds singing. I’m so grateful for this beautiful world that we live in, but not only that… living here at this camp… in Colorado. After months of suffering/struggle, I’m finally seeing the light, feeling less…
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One Day at a Time
I feel like every time I write, big things have happened in between posts. My life is never boring; that’s for sure. I will say that the most recent things that have been going on have been really good. I’m feeling more and more peace each day. I have honestly been a bit disconnected from…
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New (Possible) Information About My Brain
These past few weeks have honestly been pretty stinking crazy. I feel like I can never keep up with the crazy… Last week, I asked my therapist if she thinks I have bipolar 2 (she was trying the medication to see if it would help, but that didn’t mean she thought I had bipolar). She…
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What You Think Matters
Our thoughts are affected by: 1) What we consume, 2) What we tell ourselves, and 3) What we are trying to control that is not ours to control. I have been realizing lately HOW MUCH what I consume matters. If I am constantly taking in negative things, I will think negatively. If I am constantly…
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Finding Personal Agency in Habits… One Day at a Time
These past several months have felt extremely heavy. Many of the things that have been going on aren’t things I can share about publicly, but I have been carrying a lot. Most days I wonder if I will ever have longer “good” seasons. I feel like the majority of my adulthood has been one trial…
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Life Will Always Be Life: Beautiful and Difficult
A few nights ago, I had the opportunity to remember what I just wrote about. There always seems to be something that “pops up” as soon as I feel like things are settling. Every time. So, I figured something would be coming. Homeschooling & Teenagers I can’t write about it, but I guess I’m eating…
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Through Darkness, There Came a Light
I remember the day that I checked myself into rehab very clearly. After I had gotten checked in (my bags were searched, I was searched, I talked with the financial lady and cried), I saw the medical doctor for the first time. I remember asking him, “are there any other people like me here?” For…
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