Simply Courtney

Hey old friends! I haven’t been around as much these days because I write over on Substack. I was tired of paying for a plan here when Substack is free. I was able to work on this one to make it look decently nice without paying for anything (besides the $19 per year domain), so I’m going to try to do some writing here as well.

Things have been a little crazy here (as usual). I am learning that’s just life, so I’m trying to settle in and continue taking one minute at a time.

In April, after talking with my boss many times about being concerned about going full time (and being told I didn’t have an option), I decided to resign. I kept trying to be okay with it and making it work, but I just knew it wasn’t for me. I immediately had another job, but that ended up being a nightmare and only lasted 2 weeks (ish). Long story, but I don’t feel like sitting with that any longer.

No longer having a “real job” and steady income has taken some time to process. But. I finally opened my cottage business after thinking about doing it for a long time, and I feel like my life is just starting!

Not only did I finally do that, but I am also going backpacking (leaving in a couple of hours) for the first time in years because I finally have the mental bandwidth to make it happen. I am usually super anxious before a trip of any sort, but I’m only excited this time!

I’m usually way too anxious, depressed, and in my head to do this even though I have wanted to for a long time.

I’m finally living the life I always wanted and dreamed of. I’m finally trusting God with our finances so that I can be who I want to be.

Sorry for the repeat of the word “finally,” but I’m telling you… all of this was years in the making. After suffering from severe mental illness most of my adult life, I am so so grateful for my life today. I could never have imagined being where I am. God redeems what’s broken, even if it takes a while. I don’t think I’d be the person I am today had I not gone through so much struggle. Obviously it would have been nice to grow without that, but that’s not how things work.

So, here I am, being who I have always wanted to be.

I will say, though, that the transition was rough. I was beating myself up so much for “not being able to work” again. I thought I was a huge failure and burden. I am realizing lately that I AM working, it just doesn’t look like I thought it would or should. I am contributing in a way that is flexible, creative, and an even better fit for our family. I am able to take care of my mental and physical health, provide in new ways, and am able to do things that I wouldn’t have been able to with a “real job.” It just took a bit to realize this.

I spent last weekend prepping and planting my garden. We have so many large barrels and 4 raised beds of different sizes and shapes. We plan to add to the garden every year, but I think if this one does well, we will have so much from it. I planted cucumbers, many different herbs (rosemary, oregano, thyme, basil, dill, lavender, peppermint, stevia), yellow potatoes, yellow onions, red onions, lettuce, kale, spinach, pumpkins, watermelon, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, carrots, beets, green beans, 5 cherry tomato plants, 6 heirloom “slicing” tomato plants, jalapenos, bell peppers, yellow squash, and zucchini. I also planted marigold and Calendula flowers.

We have 16 laying hens, a rooster, and 7 more chicks for laying eggs (they are a few months old at this point).

I “opened” my online store and had 4 orders right away. I only have one left to fulfill… the rest have been made and sold (and enjoyed!). I bake beautiful sourdough boules (“regular,” pumpkin shaped, turkey shaped, pine trees), sourdough sandwich bread, sourdough discard crackers, sourdough discard tortillas (regular and whole wheat), whole wheat banana muffins, whole wheat banana pumpkin muffins, hamburger buns, dinner rolls, chocolate chip cookies, lavender lemon cookies, oatmeal coconut cookies, dark chocolate brookies, peanut butter cookies, and I will continue to add to my list!

We have an acre to do so much with. I cannot wait to see how this business grows over time. I really think it will be the “answer” to what I need and what our family needs. I just had to get to a place in which I felt like I could take the leap (it felt like a huge leap). It’s going to be so perfect for me and for our family!

A quick update on our kids:

Karis is going back to college in the fall! She will be going to a local university and living on campus. She is so ready and excited. She has decided to switch her major (from architecture to history), and she plans on getting her masters afterward in Library Science. This is all so perfect for her.

Ethan is officially graduated from homeschool. He will be going to a local state/community college to get his HVAC certificate and hopes to start working in that field pretty quickly. He is turning 18 in 2 weeks (from today), and will finally be getting his license. He also has a truck that was given to him that he has been fixing up. He is hoping to have it up and running by the time he gets his license.

Levi is going to homeschool one more year. We aren’t sure where he will end up after that, but God knows! He’s just taking one day at a time. He recently bought a Jeep Cherokee and is working on fixing it up so he can drive it when he gets his license!

Having teenagers/young adults has been SO hard, but I feel like they are finally all coming into themselves and figuring out what they want (and what’s for them). I know that this will continue being a process as they have so much growing to do (I mean, so do I). The hardest thing for me has been finding the right balance of implementing consequences and boundaries while still loving them unconditionally (and letting go of any semblance of control).