Tag: Mental Health
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Feeling More Grounded Than Ever Before
A lot has happened since my last post. It wasn’t even super long ago… Something very hard took place a little over a week ago, and I can’t really talk about it here. But it ended up growing one of my kids in a positive way, and growing our family as well. The more I…
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In All My Messiness
I’m feeling a bit messy today. Not physically, but in my brain. I have the day off which I have needed so desperately, but now I feel like I need to solve all of my problems in one day. I haven’t had time or energy to focus on the things in my life that I…
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Exhausted but Content
This past week or two has honestly been pretty tough. Mostly because I’m flat exhausted due to working so much. I have one more day of work, then I’ll have a day off. And the rest of the week is a bit lighter. In twelve days, I’ve had one day off. That isn’t normal… Normally…
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The Messy Middle
I’ve spent most of my adulthood going in between two extremes. There’s a lot behind this. Part of it is a trauma response… feeling like I need to fix myself. Some of it is because I’m constantly seeking dopamine due to a lack which means “shiny new things” are always appealing. I am also an…
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My Dream Life
I’ve been writing on Substack, and I don’t think I like it. It feels much less like ME and less personal. I don’t know why it feels that way. Maybe because I’ve had this blog for a lot of years! But anyway. I think I’m going to write here again. I have a lot on…
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My New Adventure
I’m still writing over on my Substack, but I also want to use this blog for things like life updates and life-things in general. A few days ago, I accepted a full time position at camp! Starting next week, I will be the assistant food service director! It’s a long story, but Robert and I…
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More Processing Through Journaling
I’m going to attempt to process more about my food/weight/body image stuff. I’m STILL so torn about it and feel so back and forth. Where does the shame and fear lie? Is it in my body or in my desire to be more strict with things? Am I making something a moral issue that isn’t a…
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Processing Through Journaling
I just thought I’d share my journal from today. It was a little scattered but also pretty helpful. I’m learning more and more about myself. I realized yesterday that I have been battling the weight/body image/nutrition/exercise battle for a long time, and I have never sought God’s wisdom on it. WHY am I so obsessed with…
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Still Considering Autism…
I had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner today, and as much as I keep saying I DON’T have autism, we are both still thinking it’s possible. What’s hard is, as an almost 43 year old woman, I have learned to mask SO well, and I don’t even know what that looks like. I…
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Expectations and Peace
I have had a rough few days mentally and emotionally. I wrote this on Facebook yesterday: “I’ve been struggling again the last few days. Heavy depression. I had therapy and cried more than usual. I realized today that deep down I feel like I’m just a burden and not an asset to anyone. Like my…
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