Tag: Depression
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One day, things will settle down… right?
Things have felt like they were falling apart the past week or so. I can’t really go into details, but I thought things were so much better with one of my kids, and I found out that that was further from the truth. Things have been very very hard. Ethan is probably going to do…
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So Grateful
Last year, I thought I had been “healed” for a bit. But my mental health was still VERY up and down. This time last year, I was slipping back into depression. I was looking at old posts yesterday (and old journal entries). I also experienced severe anxiety all last summer. Then I was severely depressed,…
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Feeling More Grounded Than Ever Before
A lot has happened since my last post. It wasn’t even super long ago… Something very hard took place a little over a week ago, and I can’t really talk about it here. But it ended up growing one of my kids in a positive way, and growing our family as well. The more I…
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In All My Messiness
I’m feeling a bit messy today. Not physically, but in my brain. I have the day off which I have needed so desperately, but now I feel like I need to solve all of my problems in one day. I haven’t had time or energy to focus on the things in my life that I…
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My Dream Life
I’ve been writing on Substack, and I don’t think I like it. It feels much less like ME and less personal. I don’t know why it feels that way. Maybe because I’ve had this blog for a lot of years! But anyway. I think I’m going to write here again. I have a lot on…
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Still Considering Autism…
I had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner today, and as much as I keep saying I DON’T have autism, we are both still thinking it’s possible. What’s hard is, as an almost 43 year old woman, I have learned to mask SO well, and I don’t even know what that looks like. I…
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Expectations and Peace
I have had a rough few days mentally and emotionally. I wrote this on Facebook yesterday: “I’ve been struggling again the last few days. Heavy depression. I had therapy and cried more than usual. I realized today that deep down I feel like I’m just a burden and not an asset to anyone. Like my…
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Identity and Calling
As I sit here in my office, I can hear the beautiful sounds from nature-the frogs in the pond and the birds singing. I’m so grateful for this beautiful world that we live in, but not only that… living here at this camp… in Colorado. After months of suffering/struggle, I’m finally seeing the light, feeling less…
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One Day at a Time
I feel like every time I write, big things have happened in between posts. My life is never boring; that’s for sure. I will say that the most recent things that have been going on have been really good. I’m feeling more and more peace each day. I have honestly been a bit disconnected from…
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New (Possible) Information About My Brain
These past few weeks have honestly been pretty stinking crazy. I feel like I can never keep up with the crazy… Last week, I asked my therapist if she thinks I have bipolar 2 (she was trying the medication to see if it would help, but that didn’t mean she thought I had bipolar). She…
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