Emily P. Freeman is one of my favorite podcasters and authors. Every year, she puts out “10 Questions for Reflection & Discernment,” and I love to answer these questions each year as a reflection of my previous year and the beginning of a new year.
This year has been pretty weird in a lot of ways. The move out of state has been life-changing, and there have been some big ups and downs.
What worked?
I was consistent with nutrition and movement the majority of the year. I learned that consistency wasn’t perfection. I learned that I am at my healthiest in every way when I move my body and provide nourishment to my body and brain.
I learned what works for us in our homeschool… curriculum, methods, routines, etc. Robert and I realized that homeschooling is best for the boys.
Living in Colorado has been amazing for our family in so many ways. We are all STILL adjusting in some areas, but overall, this is where we belong.
Our community at the camp where we live is healthy. The work-life balance is much healthier than what we’ve experienced at other camps. Living close to church, stores, coffee shops, the library, medical/mental health care, and adventuring are all so good. I cannot imagine going back to being so far from everything. I realize now that it was so isolating.
Learning new skills while working rec was so great.
We made some amazing new friends. We feel so loved and accepted here for who we are.
Moving into our new home last week has been so so nice. We LOVE it!
What didn’t work?
Giving up on consistency in the midst of mental health and life struggles. It’s hard to be motivated in those times, but I am realizing that I need to push myself to be consistent anyway because it’s so important for my brain.
Putting the boys back in school was a disaster yet again. The school itself was much better than our previous experiences, but it did not go well.
Levi is struggling to adjust and doesn’t have any friends here. He misses our old life, so that’s hard. I do think it’ll get better over time.
Trying to fit myself into any sort of box never works. Trying to follow one specific homeschooling method/philosophy. Ignoring what I know fits me and our family and trying to follow what others are doing.
What do I need more of next time?
Consistency despite hardship, church, time with friends, and just focusing on what I know works for me and for my family.
What was the loneliest part?
Adjusting to a new climate, new friends, a new home (twice now), and a new way of life. Being far from people that I know well. But I will say, things have gotten so much better than they even were before. It just took time. I feel like the new friends that I have are more solid friendships than I’ve had in a long time.
Sending Karis to college has been an adjustment. Having some major family issues recently has been very hard.
I feel like the people in our life are who we should spend our time with in this season. I hope this season lasts a long time.
When did you feel the most like yourself?
When I was moving my body consistently, when I make food from scratch, when I’m outside, when I stop listening to everyone around me, when I focus on what I want even if it doesn’t fit in a box, after therapy, and when I trust myself, the gifts that God has given me for His glory, and when I spend time with my amazing friends. I’m truly so blessed with the best friends.
In what areas did my confidence grow?
Learning how to work on the ropes course was pretty confidence-growing. I still have a lot to learn, but I did more this year than I ever thought I would.
Becoming consistent with working out, gaining muscle mass, learning how to eat well consistently, and losing some weight were pretty helpful for my confidence as well.
Becoming better at homeschooling teenagers was also pretty awesome!
Who (or what) have I learned the most from?
In general, God has taught me so much through so many avenues this year.
Our pastor is a huge one. He teaches in a way that I’ve never experienced. I have learned to dig deeper and have learned so much about the Old Testament and how it relates to today.
I’ve learned a lot from my own life experiences… through mistakes and things that have gone well. Digging deep with the boys into the Bible and history. Learning through trial and error how to parent teenagers, especially ones that struggle with their mental health. I’ve learned SO much from my psychiatric nurse practitioner who does my therapy and med management. She also treats my boys. She has been amazing for all of us. I still have so much to learn.
I continue to learn how my past traumas, ADHD, and other mental health conditions affect everything in my life. I’m also learning how to overcome and live a full life.
I’ve learned a lot from new and old friends and from a few people that I follow on social media as well.
What were my favorite yeses?
Moving to Colorado, moving houses recently, spending time with amazing new friends, going back to homeschooling (again), working recreation at camp, focusing on taking good care of myself, and just getting out of my comfort zone in many areas. I still have more work to do on this, though!
What were my surest nos?
Putting the boys back in school was a pretty big disaster, like I said. I won’t go into specifics, but I just know homeschooling is what is best for our family.
All of the travel to Texas was hard in many ways for many reasons. I think moving forward, we will try to minimize that. I will send Robert when Karis needs to go to and from college. He loves a good road trip. I do not mind some travel, but that’s exhausting for me.
Eating terribly and not moving my body really affects me as well. So a big no for me is giving into emotional eating and laziness and allowing my life circumstances (and mental and emotional health) keep me from doing what I know is best for me.
What’s one thing I know for sure?
I have to take good care of myself to make it through this life.
Before I move forward, name…
- A progress I’m celebrating- Consistency most of the year
- A pivotal decision I have made- Moving houses, deciding to homestead again, and learning to be ME
- A question I’m still carrying- Will I ever be consistently mentally healthy?
- What I want most- Peace, joy, calm, and stability
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