This blog post is a bit disjointed, but I want to share the rawness of my gratefulness to Jesus for my deliverance!
On November 30, 2009, my life changed forever. My brother died by suicide in a very gruesome, traumatic way. My mental health was never the same. I was in and out of mental hospitals, became an alcoholic, went to rehab and got sober, but still suffered for so many years. Between the most severe anxiety that I’ve ever seen anyone experience and constant depression, I just couldn’t keep going. My relationship with Jesus was so distant because of my anger towards God for my brother’s death and my own suffering.
This year, God has healed me.
“Oh praise the name of the Lord, our God. Oh praise His name forever more! For endless days, we will sing Your praise. Oh Lord, oh Lord, our God.”
“There’s no one like you. None beside you.
Holy, holy, holy. All the angels cry out! Just one look at Jesus, and I’m face down in the ground. Holy, holy, holy. We join with heaven now. Just one look at Jesus, and I’m face down in the ground!”
“Oh how beautiful. Oh how glorious. Is the Man who’s seated on the throne!”
I learned about MBL (Met By Love) a few weeks ago, and it’s basically all I’ve listened to ever since!
My favorite thing to do, all day, is worship Jesus. I cannot put into words how much His deliverance in my life has impacted me!
A year ago, I had almost given up on ever getting better. I really thought it would never happen! I was hopeless. I was miserable. I had suffered for YEARS at that point, and last year was one of the worst.
He has delivered me from DARKNESS, and I will share that with everyone, as often as I can!
No, not every day is amazing. But the overall heaviness and darkness that I lived with for years isn’t there.
“We’re in the room with the King of Kings
My eyes of fixed upon you only
Just a glimpse and I’m on my knees
The savior of the world’s in front of me
We’re in the room with the King of Kings
Jesus you’re the one we’ve come to meet
Not yesterday’s love, here we bring
A brand new offering at your feet
Every drip and every ounce
My alabaster emptied out
I’ll pour out all my oil
I’ll wet your feet with tears
You’re the one we’re here for
All we want is you
The fragrance of our worship
Is filling up this room
You’re the one we’re here for
All we want is you
We’re in the room with the King of Kings
You’re limitless in all your glory
So when I worship there is no such thing
As dry or boring you’re worth endless praise
Every drip and every ounce
My alabaster emptied out
I’ll pour out all my oil
I’ll wet your feet with tears
You’re the one we’re here for
All we want is you
The fragrance of our worship
Is filling up this room
You’re the one we’re here for
All we want is you
I might get a little messy tonight
I might dance or I might cry
I don’t care what I look like
Oh I just wanna see you right
Fear of man will leave tonight
I’m letting go of all my pride
I’ll love you undignified
And make the Pharisee see you right
I’ll pour out all my oil
I’ll wet your feet with tears
You’re the one we’re here for
All we want is you
The fragrance of our worship
Is filling up this room
You’re the one we’re here for
All we want is you”
This song is based on the story of the woman in Luke 7:
I lost my fire for quite a while. I stopped living for Jesus and just focused a lot on myself. I guess people do that naturally when they are suffering. But here I am, giving Jesus all the glory!
simplycourtney.org 