“Hope means holding on to you. Grace means you’re holding me too.”
-JJ Heller
I’m so grateful for God’s grace, which allows me to have hope. Even in the midst of suffering and struggle, I know that He is in charge. He has a plan for my good and His glory. He has promised that (Romans 8:28), and I know that He keeps His promises.
I have been feeling pretty desperate lately. I am feeling worse each day with my physical health which is really affecting my mental health. And honestly, my mental health has been so up and down lately anyway. I definitely went through a hypomanic episode for a few weeks, and now I’m feeling depressed. My anxiety is also making my cough/inflammation so much worse.
I am having to watch what I eat and drink more than ever before because certain things trigger my severe cough and inflammation a whole lot. This feels so hard right now.
I posted a bit of my story and how I was feeling on social media a couple nights ago, and I was amazed at the outpouring of love and encouragement and prayers from others. I often feel like I’m just too much for people when I’m in the midst of that stuff, and that people are just annoyed by me. But friends and strangers alike were so kind to me. I could feel the strength of their prayers and encouragement.
Yesterday was decently better. I did some school planning, cleaned up a bit, took a shower and put on a bit of makeup, played games with Levi, did a bit of food prep and made some homemade buns for dinner (grass fed burgers), and watched a movie with my kids. I didn’t feel any better physically, but I believe the power of prayer helped me get through.
I’m struggling more again this morning, but I’ll get up and moving soon, and I think that really helps a ton.
Praise God for His believers (and even those who aren’t but share their love and support), His Word, praise through music, and the energy to do things even when I don’t feel well.
I trust that God will use all of this one day (if not already).
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith–that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with the fullness of God.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:14-21
At the start
He was there
He was there
In the end
He’ll be there
He’ll be there
And after all
Our hands have wrought
He forgives
Oh, the glory of it all
Is He came here
For the rescue of us all
That we may live
For the glory of it all
Oh, the glory of it all
All is lost
Find Him there
Find Him there
After night
Dawn is there
Dawn is there
And after all
Falls apart
He repairs
He repairs
Oh, He is here
With redemption from the fall
That we may live
For the glory of it all
Oh, the glory of it all
After night
Comes a light
Dawn is here
Dawn is here
It’s a new day, a new day
Oh, everything will change
Things will never be the same
We will never be the same
Oh, everything will change
Things will never be the same
We will never be same
Simply Courtney 