Focusing on Gratitude

The past several weeks have been a little more difficult.  I got into a pattern of forgetting my morning meds (a second dose of a morning and nighttime med).  I thought that maybe I was doing better and decided to just not worry about remembering… to just take meds at night and call it good.

Then I started to notice I was getting down.  I was also getting anxious and irritable.

Luckily I realized pretty quickly what was going on.  I decided that it was time for me to get back to figuring out how I can remember again and be consistent with my meds.

I set an alarm on my phone to make sure I take my meds every morning.  The nighttime meds were consistent, just not the morning.

So I started taking them every morning again and I’ve noticed a huge difference already.

I talked with my doc about it and she said that it’s common for people to struggle to remember and to just keep doing what I’m doing because it sounds like it’s working.  I obviously definitely need all the meds that I was taking.  I was hoping I didn’t need the dose I was taking, but I do.  It is what it is.  I’m thankful that it works!

Anyway, the point of this post is that despite my hard days the past few weeks, gratitude has helped me stay focused on the good.  It’s not about forcing happiness, but it’s about being joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.

Speaking of prayer, that has also been huge.  I’m doing a Bible study about prayer and even though it’s super simple, it’s rocking my world and helping create a more intimate relationship with Jesus again after so long.

I spend time every night listing 10 things that I’m grateful for.  Sometimes I include pictures, sometimes I don’t.  I usually spend time explaining and sometimes I keep it simple to a word or sentence.  I do this on Facebook because for some reason it helps me to be more consistent.

Typically I focus on what I’m thankful for that day.  Sometimes I write things that I’m generally thankful for.  I love that it’s mine and I can do what I want.  No rules.

This gratitude practice has gotten me through on those days where I felt like I was sinking.  When I felt frustrated and on edge because of anxiety.  Knowing that I was going to be ending the day thinking about what I’m grateful for made me think about it through the day.

Along these same lines, I want to share a song that have a lot of meaning to me right now.

Verse 1
You stood outside my grave
With tears still on Your face
I heard You say my name
My night was turned to day

Chorus
You came,I knew that You would come
You sang,My heart it woke up
I’m not afraid, I seeYour face, Iam alive
You came, I knew that You would come

Verse 2
You said death’s only sleeping
With one word my heart was beating
I rose up from my grave
My fear was turned to faith

Bridge
You are a miracle-working God
You are a miracle-working God
You are a miracle-working God
You are a miracle-working God
You are a miracle-working God
You are a miracle-working God

Outro
You turn my fear into faith
You raise me up from the grave (2x)

You came, yeah You came, yeah You came
I knew You would come

 

Some things that I’m grateful for today:

1. My relationship with Christ is growing again.  I was stagnant for so many years.  I feel His presence when I worship.  I hear His voice through the pages of His word.  I am learning and growing.  I’m open to growth.  I’m loving the two Bible studies that I’m doing.  I’m learning different things from each one.  They are just what I need for my life right now.  God is good like that :-).
2. My wonderful husband.  Our relationship is growing closer now that I’m doing better mentally/emotionally.  He’s perfect for me.  We are best friends who love spending time together.  He is a fantastic dad.  We will be married 15 years on December 20th!  We are trying to figure out what we enjoy doing together and what we enjoy doing separately with our friends.  We have learned that it’s good to spend time with friends also.
3. My amazing kids and the fact that they are doing so well these days.  They have learned and grown and are continuing to learn and grow and I love seeing the people that they are.  They’re doing pretty well in school and they are well loved by their teachers.  They are starting to do better socially (though none of them are popular or anything, which is fine).  We’re still working through a few things in this area but that’s okay.  The fact that Ethan and Levi are both taking ADHD meds have changed their lives so much.  I wish I had addressed it way sooner.
4. Friends old and new.  I am learning that to build friendships I have to reach out.  Sometimes I wish people would reach out to me, but sometimes it takes me initiating.  That’s okay.  My best friend Kari reaches out to me a lot!  I’m so so thankful for her.  She knows me well and gets me and is so encouraging.  I am going to visit her in a little over a week and I cannot wait!
5. Our home.  It’s perfect for our family.  It’s small.  But that’s fine because it’s so much easier to keep up with.  It’s warm and cozy and people like being here.  I spent time in March working on decorating and I’m so so glad I did.  That was the best decision ever.  Being in each room makes me feel at peace and happy.  I love my office.  It’s the room that I spend so much time in.  It’s totally ME and organized and comfy.  I love the rug and curtains and wall hangings.  I do my makeup in here and blog and do my planning in my Happy Planner.  The view is amazing.  My desk faces the window that over looks the hills.  I love our bedroom.  I hung curtains that make it feel so warm.  We have a love seat that make it feel cozy.  My bed is so comfortable.  I feel at peace when I’m in my room which is exactly what I wanted when I decorated it.
6. Living at this camp!  It’s so cool to be part of an outdoor adventure camp.  God is glorified here.  He is worshipped and people learn about him consistently.  The people are amazing and I feel like we have something planned with an individual or family weekly.  This week I am hanging out with 2-3 people.  We are a pretty close community (as close as you can be with our large staff!).  We do Bible studies, worship, HAF (home-away-from) home (having interns over for a meal once a month plus just hanging out).  Traditions like our “redemption day,” which is October 31st every year.  It includes a chili cook off and trick-or-treating.  Then the story of camp is told.  Last year we had Thanksgiving meal together and it was fantastic.
7. This blog.  I don’t have a lot of readers but it is my outlet and it is exactly the way I want it.  I love the fall header that I’m using right now!  So fun.
8. My AA home group.  I learn every single time I go.  I feel so loved with these ladies and that I belong because they get me.  I understand the way my mind things and what it’s like to be an alcoholic.  They help keep me sober.  There aren’t really any professing Christians so that’s hard but it’s a way for me to be a light in a dark place.  I don’t feel any difficulty with that.
9. My Younique business.  I haven’t been super active lately but I’m going to be focusing on it more this week and I’m excited and nervous.  I’m hoping that I am able to get some sales!  But.  I mostly do this as self care and for enjoyment.  If I focus too much on hounding people I get anxious (because I know how annoying that is).  I don’t think I’ll ever been up high in the business and I’m finally okay with that.  I LOVE putting on makeup now and trying new things.
10. All the little things… fall candles, pumpkin everything, coffee, my Happy Planner, a clean house, books (I’ve become quite the reader lately), good food, town days, Sonic drinks, grocery pick up, family seasonal and holiday traditions, closet organization systems :-), a clean house, the sunrise, and I could go on and on… The little things are what keep me going each day!

I took some pics of my house today because it just makes me so happy.  I thought I would share :-).  I know I share it often but oh well!  Haha.

I thought about sharing pics of other things that make me happy but I have been focusing on this post so much today and I keep getting distracted.  So I am moving forward!

 

All this to say… FOCUS ON GRATITUDE!  It will transform your life!